I am an avowed and committed cat person. The appearance of a stray kitten has risen a sympathy in me that has driven me to search online for cats and cat related websites. Big fucking mistake. There is a wealth of absolutely insane cat related images online. I have decided to give todays blog post over to these images:

No fucking shit.

I fear to imagine the “discerning person”  that would ever come into ownership of this object. It would be a person who A)was obsessed with cats to a point where blasphemy was acceptable B) Obsessed with Jesus C)A collector of plates. These three things combined point to the kind of frustrated Havashem-esque spinster locked in a third floor apartment living to serve Mr. Mittens and Lady Froo Froo. Her human contact would consist of pretending to a 24 year old lingerie model as she chatted online with a furiously masturbating Geography teacher from Ballynahob. We can only hope that the ad is correct in saying that “very few” people will ever come into possession of this terrible item.

I encountered the plate image a long time ago but this next stop in our tableau of cat related insanity was something I came across last night:

Should have sent a poet.

This picture is entitled: “We can has A.L.F” and obviously depicts the terrifying last moments in the life of lovable television alien A.L.F. ALF was an 80’s television sensation concerning the adventures of the titular alien as he adapted to life in a suburban American home. Among one of A.L.F’s running gags was that Alfs people loved to eat cats which resulted in Alf chasing the cat about and hurting himself in the process. He never ate the cat or even harmed the cat. However some insane person felt strongly enough about Alf and his anti-cat agenda that this abomination of a picture came into being.

I don’t want to imagine what this person looks like or anything about them beyond that fact that I know they are insane enough to draw a picture where several cats prepare to eat Alf. As it turns out life has taken its revenge on Alf better than any internet picture ever could:

We can has A.L.F is of derived from internet sensation I can haz cheezeburger (or somesuch spelling) A site wherein cats are posed doing various things with barely literate catchphrases put to the pictures. There are literally millions of them at this point but almost all of them are terrible beyond belief. The ones that are good are extremely funny however. These are the original pictures and were known as lolcats when the first appeared on the internet several years ago. By far the best thing lolcats have given us are lolmorriseys wherein Morrisey is lampooned.

From lolmozzer.blogspot.com

This brings us neatly on to todays video which I can link to cats because it consists of sounds culled from Alice in Wonderland. The song is simply called Alice and is by Pogo who has been creating top class electronic music and videos online for a while now. His youtube channel has everything he has done and all of his videos but I will put Alice up as a sample of his excellent work: